If that title isn’t compelling enough to get you to read this post I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore. It’s well documented that anyone with money, fame, access, or any combination of those three have a high propensity to obtain female groupies. Note that I must specify the “female” before “groupies”. This is a relatively new phenomenon that began at the turn of the 21st century whereas before it may have been redundant (time for sleepy time, anyone?).
Near the beginning of the 2000’s came the true uprising of the DJ in terms of notoriety and stature. Compile that with the creations of the uber mega clubs and you have yourself a mega marriage made in bass laden, beat dropping heaven. Little did anyone know this would give birth to…the male groupie.
How does one become a male groupie? How does one befriend a DJ to obtain the benefits of being a male groupie? This we will tackle at a later time. Today we focus on the benefits, or as i like to call it…
DJ friends with benefits!
Let’s bullet point these shall we?
-Free entry into exclusive clubs, parties, events etc. hassle free
-Potential to meet A-Z list celebrities
-The potential to snag female groupies unwanted by the DJ (not me, I’m in a relationship and think that’s despicable…hi, honey!!!)
-Hang out with the DJ on his days off and there is a high chance you will get your meals paid for and possibly receive free gear
-If you move high up the male groupie rank you may receive the ever elusive companion pass. Free. effing. flights.
-once you reach that holy grail you’re looking at free trips, free hotel stay, and you might get an official title like “assistant”.
Many males who have taken advantage of the above benefits may not consider themselves male groupies and consider themselves part of the “entourage”. Here is how you make that distinction. Did you grow up with the DJ through adolescence? Were you part of his inner circle prior to the fame/career? If you answered no to these questions time to face the music…you are in fact, a male groupie. Embrace it, you still get to take advantage of the benefits above.
Who am I to speak on this? I’m writing on this page aren’t I? That’s straight male groupie infiltration my friends. DJ Skratchy and DJ Five, you’re the best DJ’s a male groupie could ever ask for <3333333.
…Oh, and seriously, there’s a lot of free booze.